Maggie Robinson


Jun 11
2007
Twisted Knickers

Quite some time ago I bought myself a long, slinky, lace-trimmed black nightgown (Odd. When I first typed this, it was mightgown, though I certainly didn’t feel mighty like Wonder Woman wearing it.).

When my kids saw me in it, they laughed, rather dampening my enthusiasm. They didn’t think it was appropriate for their mom to look, well, kind of like a hooker. They were used to seeing me in pajama bottoms and T-shirts. Not sexy, but snooze-worthy.

Years ago, I had cute underwear. Now I’ve got Bridgette Jones’s granny panties. Industrial strength underwire bras. Sensible cotton nightgowns that can double as dustrags.

And I used to have cute shoes, too. Lime green. Hot pink. Leopard print (maybe those weren’t so cute.). For a girl who treasured the Bloomingdales catalog like a Bible, I’ve fallen from chic to meek.

I love reading the hero’s journey as he strips the heroine of her petticoats, stays, shift, and stockings. There’s something amazingly liberating after each string gets loosened from the corset. But most naughty artwork of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries shows people with their clothes on as they “get it on.” There was just too much of it to get off. Oh, you know what I mean.

Underpants as we know them are a relatively modern invention. In 1757 a German doctor said a woman shouldn’t wear pants or closed underwear because her nether region needed air to allow moisture to evaporate so it wouldn’t decay (!!!). But it was okay to wear them in cold weather(and to protect against insects!!!).

There’s nothing worse than a middle-aged woman looking like a Barbie Doll, but I’m in the mood for a pick-me-up. What’s your secret weapon when you want to feel frisky or fashionable? How many thongs are in your drawer? You can post anonymously now, so we won’t be shocked.

A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally. — Lillian Day

16 comments to “Twisted Knickers”

  1. Lenora Bell
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    1
     · June 11th, 2007 at 6:11 pm · Link

    Leopard print can be cute! I just bought my last pair of China shoes–they are red and cream colored 1940’s heels with ankle straps. As for thongs, I’ve never been brave enough, and my boyfriend seems fine with that decision. Corsets, though, are definitely my idea of a great pick-me-up. Literally. They pick it up, suck it in, and thrust it out, in all the right places. Ever tried one?



  2. TiffinaC
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     · June 11th, 2007 at 7:49 pm · Link

    Anonymos? not for me.

    I rarely wear thongs, only when I don’t want lines showing in a skimpy dress. I wear boy short undies. So not granny-like ones, but close enough.
    But I do have a huge collection of pretty bra’s…hey they ain’t all that big, I get to wear all the pretty things since I’m not fighting weight.

    And men love corsets you put that puppy on, with the garters and thigh highs and a little g-string that can be moved to the side for you know-(cause there just won’t be time to unlace).

    Tiff – The proud owner of no less than six authentic replica’s of waist cinching torture beauties.

    Something you don’t need to know… I’m a 28″ waist, and I can go down to a 23″..of course, before the kids I used to go down to a 21″



  3. terrio
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    3
     · June 11th, 2007 at 7:50 pm · Link

    I haven’t ventured into thong (thong thong thong thong) land. Sorry, got the song stuck in my head…er….fingers. I have however found these wonderful lacy boy shorts and I have managed to match them to these adorable covered in lace little bras. And yes I can call a D bra little.

    Anyway, when I wear my little matching sets (which is usually only for special occassions) it makes me feel sexier. Even if I’m the only one who knows they are there and most likely the only one who will see them.

    And color matters. I have white, pink, black and red and each give a slightly different attitude. That’s all I’ll say about that. *g*



  4. terrio
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     · June 11th, 2007 at 7:51 pm · Link

    Tiff – I think my thighs might be 21″. Does that count?

    BTW – hate you.



  5. anne
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     · June 11th, 2007 at 8:54 pm · Link

    LOL, No thonging for me, thank you! I prefer something fashionably frisky, that can be worn in public: a lace camisole V-neck under a silk long-sleeve blouse that’s open one button shy of the point at the bottom of the V.

    The only corsets I’ve worn are 18th and early 19th-century historic reproductions that emphasised modesty and carriage, not, alas, the glorious figures and wasp-waists of the Victorian and Edwardian eras. Tiffinac’s account makes me suspect I’m missing out on something!



  6. Tessa Dare
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     · June 12th, 2007 at 11:56 am · Link

    I think I had a corset-y thing once, and it got worn exactly once for a very brief time, and I decided it was NOT worth the trouble it took to get into it. 🙂

    Thongs, yes. But moreso before I had children, alas. Really, right now I’m just looking forward to the day when I don’t have a drawer full of ugly nursing bras.



  7. Sara Dennis
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    7
     · June 12th, 2007 at 1:11 pm · Link

    No thongs. Really, not ever. I’m not sure I could get over the urge to adjust, and who needs to see that?

    I love corsets, though. My regular underwear is pretty danged boring, though I kind of want to venture into boy shorts. And I need pretty bras.

    I’ve been going through a grown up clothes phase lately. I knew I was a late bloomer, but this late? Yeesh.



  8. Maggie Robinson
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     · June 12th, 2007 at 4:06 pm · Link

    Lenora, I have shoe-envy. The closest I’ve gotten to a corset was a strapless longline bra, which seemed to have a mind of its own.

    Tiff…23″ ? Maybe when I was in fourth grade…

    terrio, matching underwear in all those colors…you make me want to go shopping!

    Anne, I used to have camisoles but found them too darned hot (in a temperature way). I always hated the undershirts my mother dressed me in when I was a kid.

    Tessa, I remember my nursing bra days, and the pads that used to shift around making me look lumpy and deformed. But what a good thing you’re doing for your baby.

    Sara, I’m so glad to see you! Sounds like we’ve both got a case of the underwear blues…or blahs. I’m so glad I’ll be on vacation after Thursday, and all my “grown-up clothes” will hang out in the closet while I wear my denim shorts.



  9. ERiCA
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     · June 12th, 2007 at 10:55 pm · Link

    They didn’t think it was appropriate for their mom to look, well, kind of like a hooker.

    Bwa ha haa!!

    I agree with tiffinac who said thongs are for when pantylines matter. All other times, comfy cotton lowriders rule. (So they don’t poke up from the tops of today’s low waistbands.)

    Unlike tiff, I have no recollection of a time when I had a 21″ waist…



  10. BernardL
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     · June 13th, 2007 at 9:33 am · Link

    On behalf of husbands around the world ladies, please don’t get fashion critiques from your resident yuppie larvae. There is very little about us our kids are not embarrassed about. Going to bed looking like Grandma Moses will not ‘get ‘er done. 🙂



  11. MsHellion
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     · June 13th, 2007 at 9:58 am · Link

    If I want to feel girly, I wear CFM pumps. I got a pair of cute Daisy Duke ones where I feel especially sassy. Shoes do it for me.

    I do have this cute black bra–a Target wonder, Gillian O’Malley, very cute. Unfortunately my undies never match–since I prefer comfort and thongs, no matter who says it, are not comfy.



  12. Maggie Robinson
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     · June 13th, 2007 at 2:31 pm · Link

    Ladies, we must heed Bernardl’s words of wisdom.

    Erica, the smallest waist I can remember is 26″…I think I was in 8th grade sewing class.

    Hellion,yes to cute shoes, but no high heels for me. Give me a pair of pretty ballerina flats and I’ll pirouette all around the place.



  13. Anonymous
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     · June 13th, 2007 at 3:34 pm · Link

    Does anyone else have special occasion undergarments? That’s what I’ve been reduced to. A friend sent me a red lacy thong for Christmas and my DH and I still crack up about even thinking of wearing them/it or whatever. They are way in the back of the drawer never to see the light of day.

    I did wear a bustier (sp) on my wedding day. That was fun. That was before someone decided that plastic bra straps weren’t as visible as a fuschia one (rolls eyes).

    Now for some interesting male wear go to http://www.internationalmale.com and their brother site http://www.undergear.com.

    Nice. Verra nice.
    Santa



  14. irisheyes
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     · June 13th, 2007 at 4:17 pm · Link

    Jockey for Her unless I’m feeling a little frisky. I have one thong and I’ve worn it twice, for a very short period of time. Very uncomfortable, but well worth the reaction it got. Sorry TMI!! (Although I believe this whole blog just screams TMI!)

    I do like fancy nighties but again if I want to go to bed and sleep I wear some old cotton men’s boxers and a t-shirt. I have graduated to the stretchy, form fitting t-shirts that kinda leave nothing to the imagination, so to speak. But with kids around I can’t really walk around like that.

    And if it’s below 50 degrees, forget it. I’m in flannel and ain’t no one getting it off me!



  15. TiffinaC
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     · June 15th, 2007 at 8:06 am · Link

    I didn’t say my natural waist size was 23″!!!! The smallest my waist was naturally was 26…I can cinch five inches in my corsets. So it’s definitely not a natural size… Silly gals!

    My husband says his mom was natural a 20″ waist, in her youngin’ years. Can you imagine????



  16. lacey kaye
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     · June 17th, 2007 at 9:00 pm · Link

    Great picture!

    I have lacy boy undies. Love ’em. No lines, either.